Beauty Or Beast – Fake Breasts

According to a survey of 1,500 British women considering breast augmentation, carried out by (yes a site with that name really exists) and, contrary to popular media myths, the women we least want to emulate when we consider going under the knife is Victoria Beckham and Jordan, instead preferring a more natural Charlotte Church type figure.

Now the problem with this, of course, is that Charlotte Church’s breast are entirely natural, and this is the problem that I have with many breast implants – they look obviously fake. Which means that if you spend enough time looking at celebrity magazines, and watching E! television programmes like Girls Of The Playboy Mansion*, you forget what real breasts look like.

As Kate Moss-A-Like in the breast department, I have made a past time of studying women’s breasts both real and fake and have to tell you that the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen belonged to a very young Helena Christensen – jaw droppingly beautiful; the perfect pert small C with glorious tanned skin to match.

Now if I was ever to have cosmetic surgery I would want bigger breasts, but the trouble is I have not seen a fake pair that I really like. And this is because of two things – the growing number of women who want obviously fake breasts like Victoria Beckham’s, and secondly, something I have long suspected in the truly A list celebrity world, the very best breast jobs are virtually undetectable.

To illustrate this point look at the Estee Lauder adverts closely next time you see them, as Carolyn Murphy is rumoured to have had a breast augmentation, but only to a perfectly natural looking B cup, and what about Giselle Bundchen? I am not sure she has false breasts, but the rest of her is so very slim it wouldn’t surprise me, and what’s more one stylist I know swears that when squeezed into a corset they tend to rise into two give-away, half moons under her chin.

And then there is Elizabeth Hurley. She always had great bosoms, but then lost a lot of weight and seemed almost flat chested for a while, but now she is slim and with breasts (and knows Carolyn Murphy really well). And then there is the queen of ageless breasts, Madonna. I saw her in concert and she has the body fat percentage of a man, has had two children, is 48 and yet still has gravity defying, beautifully full breasts. How?

I am not sure if any of these women have fake breasts, but if they do I want the number of their surgeons now. So fake breasts – beauty or the beast? I suspect both, depending on the talent of your surgeon. is a website that helps women considering breast augmentation to find a reputable surgeon accredited to the British Association of Aesthetic plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) in the UK.

* By the way I do know that Bridget, one of Hef’s girlfriends, breasts are real, but it’s Holly’s and Kendra’s that you can’t take your eyes off. They defy description.


I sometimes think it is hard to tell when someone has had breast enlargement. I really think it depends on the surgeon, the type of implant, and how big they are on the size of body frame. I have seen some breast augmentations that look really natural. But these girls don't flaunt their chest like it is fake.

I work for a plastic surgeon here across the pond and I actually heard someone the other day with all this Harry Potter fever claiming that J.K. Rowling has implants. With so many options for (, it's getting harder and harder to tell who's got what, honestly. But I bet J.K. has much better ways to spend her billions besides this.

Actually, Bridget has fake boobs too. She said so on the show, when hef's ex wife? I think asked her directly. She blushed, then giggled and said, "Yes thet are." To which the consensus was that she has one of the best boobs job ever! If I were ever to get a boob job, I would want like hers!

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